An Open Letter To My Friends: Why I’m Leaving You for Jenny Lawson

(I started this post before the summer, but I didn’t want my friends to know that I’d decided to leave them (it seems so rude!). But, as I’m still dreaming of making Jenny my BFF, I thought I should tell them!)

I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I have a confession to make. Rather than being childish and not returning your calls or telling you I’m washing my hair every time you suggest we spend time together – I’m going to be a grown-up and let you know.

I’m breaking up with you all as Jenny Lawson is my new best friend.

She just doesn’t know it yet.

Okay, I know some of you are asking yourselves, “Who the heck is Jenny Lawson and why is she suddenly your best friend?”

A self-portrait of the Bloggess, also known as...

A self-portrait of the Bloggess, also known as Jenny Lawson, an Internet blogger. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever known someone that people suggest you should really get to know because you have “so much in common”? And you say, “Of course” but, at the same time, you know deep down that you can’t be bothered because getting to know one more person is also a chance for you to make a complete fool out of yourself and have one more person who is going to walk the other way and avert their eyes when they see you coming?

Well, Jenny Lawson is basically that person.

One of my friends (who shall remain nameless because I don’t want the rest of you to gang up on her or pummel her because she introduced me to Jenny Lawson) suggested, one day, that I read Jenny’s blog – The Bloggess.

I first realized that I adored Jenny when I read her post about her acquisition of a rather large chicken with the title “And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles” (I read it, sent it to my friends, shared with my coworkers and just read it again….and it still makes me laugh so hard that I almost cry!).

Then I saw her photo of Will Wheaton collating papers and I knew I had a non-sexual crush on her (what is the female version of a “bromance” anyway?).

But it came to fruition when I read her book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened (a mostly true memoir). I realized that we were truly kindred spirits because of the following:

  • About 15 years ago, I moved to a very small town (how small? There was 1 traffic light and it was a FLASHING light and no one had any clue why it was even there!). When I first moved there, I noticed a small shop that had some very odd things in the window. It was a taxidermy shop. And it never seemed to be open. I remember thinking to myself, “What kind of person owns a taxidermy shop?” Well, thanks to Jenny I now know! Her stories about growing up with a dad who was a taxidermist gave me a whole new insight into it (and kinda made me glad the store was never open as I’m not sure what would have happened if I actually went in!)
  • I like to torment my husband. ‘Nuff said about that (if you are unsure about why I think Jenny and I are kindred spirits, refer back to the acquisition of a large chicken that Jenny shared!).
  • Jenny and I have a very similar sense of humour. I’m not sure how you define it. Quirky? Wacky? Eccentric? (Don’t get me wrong – Jenny is definitely funnier than I am but I’d make a great sidekick!).

I could go on and on for hours (and if you knew me you’d know that is entirely within the realm of possibility – I love to talk!) but I think these examples show you why Jenny and I are destined to be BFFs. She just doesn’t know it yet (I know I said it once – but it does bear repeating!).

So, I’m really sorry, but I have to break up with you! Don’t worry – when Jenny and I write the next book I’ll make sure I tell everyone that you were a good sport!

Disclosure: While I do love The Bloggess and am a huge fan of her book, I’m not going to break up with my friends. No worries Jenny – you are safe!

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10 Responses to An Open Letter To My Friends: Why I’m Leaving You for Jenny Lawson

  1. Elva Roberts says:

    October 10-Thank you, Maggie, for my first big smile of my day. An early dental appointment had me up at 7:30. The appointment was for 8:30 and I assumed, correctly, that it was 8:30 am and not 8;30 pm. Anyway, the ordeal is over and I am home, having a big smile at your post and relieved that my not so bad appointment is over. Everyone there was soothing and very kind but a dental office is a dental office. I think you and Jenny Lawson would probably get along famously but what about the rest of us? You would not have as much time for us and we would be the poorer for that. (No; they did not give me gas,)- Hugs, el03ro
    e.m.roberts@hotmail.com

  2. Soozle says:

    I read Jenny’s memoir this past year and instantly fell in love with her as well. 🙂

    You can’t help but love her for her quirks – she is not perfect and she isn’t afraid to tell you that. It’s very endearing!

  3. thebloggess says:

    Ha! Clearly we need a slumber party.

  4. (So much for me playing it cool!*lol*)

  5. Dreena says:

    Wow, great for you that she responded!!! You must be so happy!! Awesome.

  6. Cathy C says:

    great book – some parts I was crying I was laughing so hard

  7. Pingback: Growing Up Dead… | Two Different Girls

  8. Mag says:

    I got to pick the book up based on all the recommendations here.

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