There’s a running joke in my family — I’m never allowed to carry the bag with the eggs in it from the car to the house.
Why? Well it’s really simple.
I’m a klutz.
I know — you are probably thinking that everyone is klutzy at one time or another.
But I’m not your garden variety klutz. I’m an extreme klutz! I’m talking about without trying I can bang the eggs into the wall (and I’m not even trying to swing them!), bang myself into a wall or fall off a couch.
(And before you ask….yes….all of these things have happened to me!)
But I’d been having a good run of things. I got new glasses that were adjusted for my astigmatism (aka the fact that I look at the world from a weird angle) and also have prisms in them (aka I don’t see things straight — seriously, I am a natural gold mine for self-effacing humor!) and, as a pleasant by-product, I found that I stopped bumping into things.
And it was fun while it lasted. But all good things must come to an end, right?
Lately I have noticed that I can’t walk straight — which would sound absolutely ridiculous if someone else said it about themselves but it’s true! You know it’s bad when you have to hang on for dear life to any machine you are using at the gym so you don’t fall off the side and when you can’t walk side by side with someone on the sidewalk because you might bang into them!
So why am I telling you all of this?
Because I’ve had a bad week. This week (1) I managed to bang the side of my head when I was searching for something in the dark recesses of a cupboard. Now my ear hurts it looks a bit purple and I have a bump. I also (2) twisted my knee so starts to hurt sometimes, leading me to favour my right side (which, of course, makes my off-kilter walking even more pronounced). If that wasn’t ridiculous enough (3) when leaning over to get something off a bottom shelf, I felt a sharp pain in the top middle of my back. It’s tender though it only hurts when I bend over (do you have any idea how often you bend over in a day? I’m telling you I never realized how much until now!). (4) I dropped something on my middle toe and I’m wondering if it is broken. Oh yes….and (5) I walked into a doorframe again for the first time in a long time, causing me to smash my elbow on the frame which really hurts!
So now I have a bent ear, a sore knee, an aching back, a screaming toe and a tender elbow.
I feel like I’m physically falling apart here.
And that, in a nutshell, is why I’m not allowed to carry the eggs into the house.
(Next week is going to better….right?)
To my readers: I hope you take the time to read this post. The moral of the story is that it’s been a bad week and my week things are going to go right instead of wrong! Thanks for your patience!