You Can’t Carry the Eggs! (Or “Of All the Things I’ve Lost, I Miss My Mind the Most”)

There’s a running joke in my family — I’m never allowed to carry the bag with the eggs in it from the car to the house.

broken egg carton

Why? Well it’s really simple.

I’m a klutz.

I know — you are probably thinking that everyone is klutzy at one time or another.

But I’m not your garden variety klutz. I’m an extreme klutz! I’m talking about without trying I can bang the eggs into the wall (and I’m not even trying to swing them!), bang myself into a wall or fall off a couch.

(And before you ask….yes….all of these things have happened to me!)

But I’d been having a good run of things. I got new glasses that were adjusted for my astigmatism (aka the fact that I look at the world from a weird angle) and also have prisms in them (aka I don’t see things straight — seriously, I am a natural gold mine for self-effacing humor!) and, as a pleasant by-product, I found that I stopped bumping into things.

And it was fun while it lasted. But all good things must come to an end, right?

Lately I have noticed that I can’t walk straight — which would sound absolutely ridiculous if someone else said it about themselves but it’s true! You know it’s bad when you have to hang on for dear life to any machine you are using at the gym so you don’t fall off the side and when you can’t walk side by side with someone on the sidewalk because you might bang into them!

So why am I telling you all of this?

Because I’ve had a bad week. This week (1) I managed to bang the side of my head when I was searching for something in the dark recesses of a cupboard. Now my ear hurts it looks a bit purple and I have a bump. First Aid StationI also (2) twisted my knee so starts to hurt sometimes, leading me to favour my right side (which, of course, makes my off-kilter walking even more pronounced). If that wasn’t ridiculous enough (3) when leaning over to get something off a bottom shelf, I felt a sharp pain in the top middle of my back. It’s tender though it only hurts when I bend over (do you have any idea how often you bend over in a day? I’m telling you I never realized how much until now!). (4) I dropped something on my middle toe and I’m wondering if it is broken. Oh yes….and (5) I walked into a doorframe again for the first time in a long time, causing me to smash my elbow on the frame which really hurts!

So now I have a bent ear, a sore knee, an aching back, a screaming toe and a tender elbow.

I feel like I’m physically falling apart here.

And that, in a nutshell, is why I’m not allowed to carry the eggs into the house.

(Next week is going to better….right?)

inspiration stones  pocket rocks

To my readers: I hope you take the time to read this post. The moral of the story is that it’s been a bad week and my week things are going to go right instead of wrong! Thanks for your patience!

Advertisements
This entry was posted in humor and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to You Can’t Carry the Eggs! (Or “Of All the Things I’ve Lost, I Miss My Mind the Most”)

  1. Sheri says:

    I think I have some bubble wrap. I’ll save it for you.

    • Haha! 😛 I wish I could figure out why my back has decided to do this — I can live with all of the other things but the pain from my back is driving me bonkers!

      • S Reddom says:

        Ice for 15 minutes (Wrapped ice gel pack in a towel) , remove, add heat as needed later(If not swelling), Ibuprofen can help with reduction of swelling and Acetaminophen for pain (Not together)
        1. Get professionally checked out (ie x-rays) to rule out spine or disk issues.
        – ultra sound therapy can help as does TENS – Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (applying electrodes to the body at specific points through which are delivered electrical impulses. These impulses block the pain messages sent to the brain by increasing the production of endorphins, the body’s natural pain killers.)
        But could be soft tissue or muscle stress (I had this after I said “but I do not do a lot of exercise, or work out, or do sports, or a lot of housework”) –OH but I had been carrying a heavy backpack for six weeks (after not using one for 15 years) — pulled all the centre muscles….our body lets us know when we overdo it…it can happen just from tying up shoe laces — yours or someone else’s.
        P.S. They also told me to sit up straight, get a better office chair, support lower back, do minor strengthening exercises, NOT to sit for hours in one position typing on the computer …:-) It worked…and I till do not overdo exercising, or housework — or book bag carrying ! Keep up the great work and take care.

      • Thanks for your great suggestions! I have a bad habit of carrying a heavy bag on my shoulder to and from work – I’m going to change that too and see if it helps!

  2. S Reddom says:

    I am a Facebook fan of My Little Review Corner. Yup!!

  3. Elva Roberts says:

    May 25- You have had a very bad (and sore) week indeed! Since someone has already given you some medical advice, I will only add-keep lots of extra -strength tyenol in the house and take as needed. I think your next week will have to be much better. Hugs. el03ro
    e.m.roberts@hotmail.com

  4. Pam Young says:

    Sometimes it is just one thing after another, isn’t it? Hope next week is better for you!

  5. Soozle says:

    AWww! 😦 I’m sorry to hear your week has been less than stellar!

    Have you ever looked into going to see an ENT to ensure your klutz-iness isn’t due to an inner ear/vestibular problem? It almost comes across like that to me (with my limited medical knowledge, that is).. It may be worth looking into to prevent future bumps and bruises that could turn into possible broken bones! Unless you DO want to snag that bubble wrap from Sheri above 🙂

    I hope this upcoming week treats you betetr!

  6. Maegan Morin says:

    I know how you feel :S I too have spent my whole life as a huge clutz. I litterally fall down while walking in the middle of a clean floor with bare feet so I have no other excuse on a weekly basis and I have been like this for a LONG time. I am constantly waking up with bruises and I have no idea how I got them. Its just something that you learn to live with. I hope you have a better week next week!!

  7. Heidi C. says:

    You sounds just like me! I can trip over my own feet! I get bruises and bumps from injuries I can’t even remember happening! Recently, I let an egg roll of the kitchen counter and I dropped the eggs that I had just bought in the doorway of Shoppers Drug Mart! I shouldn’t be carrying the eggs either:)!

  8. Anne Taylor says:

    I’ll contribute to the bubble wrap gathering for you lol Seriously though, when I walk, I have to have my fingers on the wall or else I walk like I’ve been drinking all day, so I can relate to your “klutziness” lol I’m at the point where I would flat out forget the bag with the eggs in the car, but I do often ram my hand into my glasses or my phone (while I’m wearing them)!

  9. Wanda Bergman says:

    Oh, my! I’ve done this, too! Totally can relate!

  10. nenasinclair says:

    Lol, perhaps we’re long lost sisters! I’m also extremely klutzy! My kids tease me about it all the time!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s